I was reading today about how lazy people have gotten over the past several years about RSVPing to stuff. It used to be that sending your RSVP was totally the norm. But now, it’s so not. Why is that? Why are people so reluctant to commit to anything anymore?
It’s one thing if it’s just some party or event that doesn’t require the host(ess) to know whether or not you will be coming, but if it’s something that requires a lot of advance preparation, (and especially if the host(ess) asks you to RSVP), then I think it’s only fair to oblige.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of being non-committal sometimes, too. But I really try to give my reasons as to why I can't committ instead of just beating around the bush and waiting for a better offer. I don’t like feeling like I’m being put on the backburner to be kept warm in case nothing else heats up, so I try not to do it to other people as well.
That being said, I apologize for my lack of being committal the past couple of months. I resolve to be better about that. After all, November is only a week away.
So, what do you think? Why has the level of commitment in people dropped so much over the past several years? And I feel like it's not just in big things, but it's so prevelant in the little things too. Are we really just so inundated with choices that we can't make up our minds until the last possible moment so we can be "sure" that we've made the best choice and seen all of our options?
I also think that we have been taught to make the best possible choices in life and we are so afraid of not making the best choice, so we have a hard time making any choice. And I think we justify that with the thought of, 'At least we know if we don't make a choice, we haven't made the wrong one.'
Is this a good thing? Or is the principle of committment something that we need to be reminded of?
Ready...set...discuss...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Lack of committment
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5 comments:
Yes, I am commenting on my own post. :)
I think it's true that we are so inundated with options these days. I mean really, how many types of one thing do you need? For example, there are tons of different brands of bread. Do we really need that many options?
I also think that we are afraid of offending people, so we wait until the last moment to make a decision because we think that is the answer to offending the least amount of people possible.
And I think that we have been taught to make the best choices in life. I think we are afraid of not making the best choice, so we have a hard time making any choice. At least we know if we don't make a choice, we haven't made the wrong one.
Ok, I will get off my soapbox now.
Ha! You were your first commenter... If that's a word... And what does November have to do with anything?
I'll admit, I like to keep my options open and see what will happen. I try not to do it too much because it kinda makes me feel shallow to tell someone no, I won't go to their event/party/activity until I know what ELSE I might be doing.
And funny you should mention RSVPs, because my friend Haley is having a Halloween party (everyone reading this is invited. Just RSVP to me ;)) and she asked for RSVPs. She said the following: "If you have the heart to RSVP then I'd appreciate it, but if you like to make such decisions at the last second, I understand but do not condone your irresponsible ways. :)" Which I think sums it up perfectly.
Maybe we do need to commit. I mean, usually we don't RSVP because we're either waiting for other options or we have prior engagements/commitments, so should it really be that big a deal if we commit? The next party will just have to wait, and we'll be ok missing one or two here and there... What does everyone else think?
Garrett, your talent for picking up on code is uncanny. You keep asking in the wrong venue :)
My personal theory on RSVPing is if it's asked of me, I will. If it's not, I usually don't. For me, if I'm undecided it's because of outside forces that have not been determined yet, such as I had plans to do something with someone, but the something hadn't been planned yet, or I have other things going on earlier, but I don't know when they will end, things like that. Mood also contributes. Some activities require a special mood to attend, and how am I supposed to know what mood I will be in in 2 weeks?
You guys may totally disagree, but I consider myself fairly committal as far as social engagements go. If I say I will be there, I usually am, and if I'm not, there was something out of my control. I think character wise it shows someone is dependable if they follow through. That's just me.
I think this what Christy said about being so afraid of making the wrong choice leads us to not make any choice is fairly accurate. The big bad marriage topic is the first thing that comes to mind. Seriously, you don't need to be sure you are going to marry someone before you can ask them on a date for crying out loud. A date is a one evening commitment, not an eternal one! And I can't begin to count the times I've heard people say in one way or another that "well, he's nice, but what if someone better comes along?" Seriously. That sounds more like I really don't like him, but what if no one else comes along.
Anyway, maybe I'm just bitter because I can't seem to get anyone I pick to move from attraction to action. But that's a story for another time.
So I think my soap box is so high that I will need help getting down off of it now....
Before you get off that soap box, Caron, I have to join you. I once got an email from a girl I asked on a date-a FIRST date, mind you-that said she didn't like me more than just as a friend and didn't think a relationship would work out. She was sorry, that's just the way she felt, and because of that, asked if I still wanted to go through with the date. SERIOUSLY??!? First, and EMAIL?! And second, I didn't know by asking her out on ONE DATE I was also proposing marriage! I thought she was interesting and wanted to get to know her better, but apparently that was a bad idea. Needless to say, it turned me off of dating for a while.
But back to RSVPing and other forms of non-commitment...
p.s. I think your right about me asking in the wrong venue, but I don't seem to see you guys in person as much these days :(
I completely agree about all that RSVPing stuff. I get so sick of being the only one to reply. Or having parties where I never know how much stuff to buy. So thanks for the post and people...get up and pick up the phone! :)
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