High on a mountain top

So, remember my breakdown? Well, I think it happened this week. So I did what I thought was best...I took a "vacation". I took a couple days off work and just stayed home and relaxed. I read a good book, I slept in, I took a few naps, I tried a new recipe, I went to the temple, and just had some nice "Christy time".

I read an article about how sometimes it's best to just retreat so that you don't end up surrendering. Well, I was about ready to surrender. I felt like I was just hanging on by a string. So I took a retreat. And I do feel better. Not 100%, but better.

As part of my vacation, I wanted to spend some time up in the mountains, so Anne and I hiked to the top of Mt. Olympus.

All I can say is WOW! It was simply amazing. You could see for miles and miles from the top. It's crazy to think I was on top of the mountain I see from my window every day.

It seriously was the absolute perfect time of year to go for optimum viewing of the fall foliage. It was beautiful. I love looking at the mountains this time of year and seeing patches of color all over the mountainside. But to actually be in it was pretty cool. Nature is so amazing.

The more I live in Utah, the more I just love these gorgeous mountains I live in the shadow of. I broke out my box of sweaters today...winter is on its way.

The triathlon that wasn't

I regret to inform all those who participated in guessing my triathlon time that we do not have a winner. The race got CANCELLED because of bad weather. I am SO bummed about it. I have been working toward this for months, and to have it all go down the tubes because of the rain. It poured all day long, and so the race was cancelled.

Friday night before the race, we were all stoked! We loaded up our bikes, drove down to St. George, and got body marked. It was so fun to have my dad and three of my friends all geared up to do the race with me.

Emma thought Garrett had just gotten a little marker happy and written all over us, but this is official business here! (She thought the "S" on our legs meant "single" HA!)

Bro. Margetts, one of the counselors in my ward's bishopric even took us all out to dinner at the Pasta Factory so we could carbo load the night before the race.

Saturday morning we got to the race, and everything looked good. We saw a gorgeous sunrise as we were preparing for the first event--the swim. Caron and I were in the first heat, so we got down in the water and started warming up as we waited for them to blow the horn to start us off. We finally started and although it was pretty windy and choppy, I felt great. Well, about 5 minutes into the swim, it started pouring. I was still swimming my little heart out, determined to do well. And I did!

I finished the swim in record time! 18:41. I was amazed! I was expecting it to take me more around 25 minutes, so to look at my watch and see the number 18 was absolutely phenominal. Here I am after the swim feeling pretty darn good. Well, then I get told that the rest of the race has been cancelled because of the rain.

I was devastated! Four months of training and buildup for this day all shot down. Matt, Roy and my Dad didn't even get to start the swim. They had cancelled the race just barely after my group had taken off swimming and they wouldn't even let the other groups start. What a bummer! In fact, I am still pretty depressed about the whole thing.

A BIG thanks to our pit crew! I really have some fabulous friends. They drove all the way down to St. George to watch us race and help out, and they sat out in the rain to cheer for us and to cheer us up when the race got cancelled. They even marked their arms and legs with their official pit crew titles. Thank you Garrett, Emma, Rachael, Jill, Katie and Beth! And thanks to my family who also came to support us. And to the Margetts. You guys are awesome.

We had to do some heavy intervention to keep Matt alive after the sheer and utter letdown. He and Roy even shaved their legs for the event. Matt, are you still with us?

Instead of racing, we decided we had to do something fun rather than just drive home all depressed. So we went bowling. I got my best score ever of 155. That didn't make up for it though. What a depressing weekend. :( I guess it will be another year before I can say I am a triathlete. :( :( :(

Breakdown

I don’t mean to be a drama queen and act “Woe is me”-ish, but this is my blog and I’ll post what I want to. Besides, maybe I just need a venting outlet. I seriously think I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I feel like I’m going to explode! I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t please everyone, I can’t be everywhere I need to be, I can’t seem to do anything right, and I just feel “stuck” in all aspects of my life.

I’m tired of doing the things I feel I’m supposed to do and having them blow up in my face. I’m tired of feeling like I need to move forward on things only to be shot down and rejected. I feel like I’m in way too deep and spreading myself too thin. And I don’t know how to re-align my life. I feel like all my juggling balls are about to hit me in the head.

Usually I deal with stress by getting rid of the unnecessary things in my life—which are usually the stress-causing components. Or finding a simpler way to deal with them. Well, that’s not working this time because I can’t seem to get rid of the things that are causing me all this stress, and all my “simplifying efforts” don’t seem to be going anywhere. Basically there are two main situations in my life right now that make up the components of my stress--both of which I cannot seem to change--no matter how hard I have tried.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope with stress and anxiety and avoid having a nervous breakdown?

We are the pirates who don't do anything

Attention me hearties! Today be Talk Like A Pirate Day! So be sure to give all your sea-faring friends and land-lubbing crew a few "arrrggh!!"s just for fun. Or you could always walk the plank or drink some rum or maybe eat some Marshmallow Mateys. Those activities seem to invite good pirate lingo. I plan to celebrate by cursin' like a pirate as I walk the plank right into the swimming pool tonight to get in some final preparations for the triathlon. Yar!

Living in luxury

I can now say that summer is officially over because I have completed the last of my summer staples...the demolition derby! We had to venture out of the valley to Logan because we missed all the local derbys. But I'm glad we did, this was one of the better derbys I've been to. There were several cars that went over the barrier, one car that completely flipped over, and an entire heat of solely pickup trucks! No fires though. Or marriage proposals.

I did have quite the luxurious trip in Garrett's luxury car. And having curbside assistance at all times with my door. And having a personal ticket broker at a phone call away. And eating the meal of the luxurious. Who would have thought that going to such a redneck event would be so luxurious?

Caron insisted that we dine at the Bluebird Cafe in Logan before the derby. Over the years, I've heard all about the Bluebird Cafe and how it's the optimal location for drowning your sorrows in an Ironport, so of course I had to try it. And it was the debut of my "I Melt For Iceberg" T-shirt. Good times.

P.S. You've still got a few more days to put in your guess at how long it will take me to finish my triathlon. Let me know, cuz the closest guesser will win a prize!

Who wouldn't want to be me?

Last night I attended my first "real" concert. Keith Urban. Now normally I am not a concert-goer because I refuse to pay that much money to see someone sing. I think it's ridiculous. And I refuse to be an annoying fanatical fan. I mean, really, no entertainer is that great. But these tickets were a birthday present for my sister Allison, so off I went to see Keith last night. I absolutely LOVE almost every Keith Urban song, so it's not like you had to ask me twice!

Our seats were supposed to be on the floor toward the back, but when we got there we were informed that we would have to be moved because there was something wrong with our seats. We got moved to ROW TWO! Granted we were not on the floor, and we were to the far right side of the stage, but we were on the 2nd row and we had a fantastic view. And yes, I did take these pictures with my own camera from my 2nd row seat.

Can I just say wow on the guitar! Makes me want to pull mine out and seriously learn some new stuff. Here's a little snippet of my Tuesday night enjoyment... (Don't mind that it's sideways, I couldn't figure out how to turn it around after I downloaded it from my camera.)

Even though I had a great time, I will probably remain a non-concert goer...it's just not worth it to me. There are so many other things I'd rather spend my money on and other things I'd rather support. But here's to great music!

Fill up on fun

We filled up on fun at the Utah State Fair this past weekend! Even though my new friend Phillip (the state fair mascot) did not come, I still had a blast. We went to the rodeo, ate some food on a stick, rode the big yellow slide, ate lots of ice cream,

saw some ribbon-winning produce, did some heel clicks down the produce aisle in our western wear (because everything is more fun if you dress for the occasion),

walked through the prized livestock exhibits (goats and sheep and cows, oh my!), saw some local wildlife,

witnessed the only Wild Turkey Stampede in the world,

of course we had to see the annual butter cow and cast a vote for next year's butter cow. We always vote for the cow jumping over Delicate Arch. What says Utah more than Delicate Arch and cows? We did not, however, find the mini donut man this year. :(

We also saw the photography and home arts exhibit, which was extra cool because some of my friends had sumbitted photographs and quilts to the fair. It was lots of fun to see their work and also have them tell me about how things are judged. Congrats to them!

Oh how I do love the fair! I'm still just waiting for my cowboy to come and take me away.

Isn't it ironic?

I was reading the other day on Erika’s blog about how iPods are not allowed in her upcoming local half marathon. I made some funny comment about how running without an iPod is like having a peanut butter sandwich with no jelly. Because seriously, my iPod is my greatest running companion. Can’t run without it.

Well, I just got the rules for my upcoming triathlon and guess what? NO iPODS ALLOWED! How will I ever survive? I think I will just have to invite everyone in St. George to come line the streets prepared with their battery-powered stereos set to a nice long playlist of peppy tunes.

Sans musica? Just shoot me now.

P.S. I’m conducting another contest. My triathlon is on September 22. The person who guesses closest to my actual finishing time will win a prize. (However, I will have to come up with another prize since I obviously can’t send you a CD of my triathlon music mix.) HINTS 1) Distance: Swim=800 yards. Bike=13 miles. Run=3.1 miles. 2) It will probably take me more than one hour, but less than three. 3) Add 5 minutes to your original guess due to the music deficit. Let the guessing begin! Leave your guess in the comment section.

What is real?

This week at work, I've posted two articles that touch on the subject of "realness" and how we want people to remember us. Do we want people to have a false impression of who we really are? Or do we want people to know and remember the real person inside us?

Erin wrote a blog post about how they have these new cameras with a feature to take 15 pounds off your subject. She talked about how while that sounds like a fabulous feature…do we really want to pretend to be something we're not?

Candice wrote an article that talked about how we are often afraid to include ourselves in our own photos and in our memory keeping because we are afraid we can't live up to society's standards of beauty. Or even our own standards for that matter. And we don't want people (including ourselves) to remember us as the sub-par person we sometimes believe ourselves to be.

I loved these articles! I think this is such an issue. How do we embrace the person we are—imperfections and all? I'll be honest, lately I have sort of felt like I'm so inadequate and because of that, I've been laying kind of low. I guess I'm afraid to expose my imperfect self to the world.

But you know what? I want to be remembered as someone who made an effort in her life to have meaningful relationships with others. Someone who helped others and someone who was happy. Someone who people enjoy being around because she cared. And I can't do that if I'm hiding behind some sort of cover-up.

So this is me…real and unedited--imperfections and all--the way I see myself in the mirror every day. And I hope that little by little, I can shed those fears of inadequacy and become comfortable enough with my imperfections to not let them get in the way of the person I am and the person I want to be.

Let's compare ourselves to vegetation

You are a Club Sandwich!

You have a big personality. It's hard for anyone to ignore you!

You dream big. You think big. Some people consider you high maintenance, but you just know what you want... and when you want it.

Your best friend: The Tuna Fish Sandwich

Your mortal enemy: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?